The love of my life

I wanted to take a moment and talk about my lovely wife. She is, after all, carrying TWO of my children inside of her. Karyn is the love of my life and I'm so proud of her. She's doing well so far. She's about 9 weeks into this journey. There has been a little bit of sickness at night. The doctor gave her Phenergren at first but that made her feel hungover every morning. She was able to sleep at night though. The nurse that we saw the following week switched her over to another kind that doesn't make her drowsy. She's had a hard time sleeping; so naturally, I have too. The other night, Isaiah stayed with my mom so he could go to a bounce house with them. I decided that I was going to sleep in his bed. I did and other than my feet hanging off the bed and into his toy box, it was nice. It gave us both more room. I think all those married couples in the 50's & 60's were on to something.

Karyn has already started showing. It's precious. It really makes it real when you can feel the changes in her body. I'm sure she would say "You have no idea!". Her skin has started stretching and it's been bothering her a little bit. She's been applying that cocoa butter trying to make the expansion easier. It would appear that there will be a lot of that expansion stuff. Which now brings me to her breast. Naturally, that's one thing that's strikingly noticeable. They are a great cause of discomfort for her. Since she now can't lay on her belly, she was enjoying laying on her side. Now she can't. Eventually we may just have to duct tape her to the wall for her to sleep at night. A sturdy wall.

She may kill me for telling the world all of this information. If she remembers to. The other morning she said "I have to pick up some trash bags today." Just moments later she followed with, "What did I say I need to pick up?" It's been like that with a lot of stuff. She seems to be suffering from "baby brain". I'm not saying she has a baby's brain. Not at all. I've just heard that some pregnant women become forgetful. I guess with so much going on, it's understandable. There may also be a medical term for it but I'm not sure. She has a Blackberry so she makes notes. I just wonder if she forgets about them.

I won't go into the constant need to pee, her gas, the moodiness, or the napping like a newborn. I would like to live to see my twins. Kidding aside, she is my rock. She's doing an incredible job. She is an intelligent, beautiful, funny, precious angel. I'm so lucky to have her and so are the kids. She's such a great wife and mother. What else can I say?

(p.s. Her gas is awful.)

A poem for the twins

I love to write. I don't really worry about if it's any good or not. It helps me release what I have inside. My wife and I met when we worked together. I wrote her little poems when we were dating. She sat right beside me in the office and I would try to make her smile. I've written poems about everything. For her, my sons, and just about life in general. Some are pretty good, I'm told. Others probably stink. It's fine with me. It's kind of therapy for me.

I thought it would be a good time to write a little poem for the twins. I was on lunch today, listening to music,with my feet on my desk. I heard a line in a song that said "By the time you hear this..". That made me want to put into words some of the thoughts running through my mind. How I want the babies growing inside my wife to know that from day 1, Daddy had their back. I was there. I can't really say that my dad was always there for me. He wasn't. I love him but we're more like friends than anything. It worked out great though. It made me want to be a great dad. The best I could be. I made a promise to myself that there wouldn't be anything that I put above my children. I won't let them down.

Anyway, this is what i jotted down. Just a few words. Daddy loves you.


By the time you read this
You will be here
I want you to know
How much I care

You know me as daddy
And you always will
Wanted to tell you
How happy I feel

I think of you constantly
You're on my mind
I'm so blessed to have you
God is so kind

He gave me blessings
The two of you
Your brothers and Mommy
And salvation too

The road that we take
Won't always be smooth
We'll do it together
He'll see us through

One day I pray
You'll know what I'm like
I'll teach you to fish
And to ride a bike

I'll show you the ropes
That I got to see
By the time you read this
You'll be with me

Through highs and lows
This is always true
God is great
And Daddy loves you

$ $

We looked through some "must have" items for twins this morning. Some of the stuff seemed useful

http://www.amazon.com/Graco-Pack-Playard-Bassinet-Kensington/dp/tags-on-product/B002AMVX8Y

That's pretty cool and I could see us using that but it's not cheap.

Other things, not so much

http://www.amazon.com/Kiddopotamus-Organic-Cotton-SwaddleMe-7-14lb/dp/B000TVZEVK/ref=cm_lmf_tit_7

Really? Is that thing legal?
It's actually pretty amazing how many people are making money off of expecting/new parents. There's books, dvds, and websites that tell you what to do every step of the way. Who says kids don't come with a manual? They can, for the low price of $49.99. I need to start making some extra money myself. Anyone want to buy some moon dust? It helps with diaper rash.

We have been trying to figure up the cost of bringing these little bundles of joy into the world. I'm going to have to start making some extra income. I've thought about building computers and selling them. It's pretty easy and I find some great deals on parts. There are a lot of little shops that have popped up in the last few years so I would need to bring something different to the table. Personality? I'll have to charge extra to be witty. Maybe I could deliver the computers to your door in a "not so new" mini-van. I have a couple little artist who do great work with crayons. They could liven up the "pc man" van. Just not sure if that would be enough to support a family of 6. I know we're not the first couple to have 4 kids. If we're special, it's just like everyone else. I also know God will provide. I'm trying to be brave here. They say, though, that you can't be brave before first being afraid. Let me enjoy this small panic attack while I still have the time to.

On the bright side, we will get to claim them on our income taxes after the end of 2012. I pray that there's some decent breaks at that time. Daddy's little tax exemptions.

Every little bit helps.

Prayers

With so much going on in our changing lives, I felt the need for another post. I mean how could I sum up everything in a few paragraphs? It's such an exciting time for our family. I had a chance to sit down with the boys last night and talk about the news of twins coming into our family. I was a little shocked that they are as excited as they are. They both say they want two girls and they're both willing to give up their room and move in with each other. Of course the thought of bunk beds may have helped in that decision. The funny thing is, Isaiah wants the top bunk and Jason wants the bottom bunk. I remember never agreeing with my younger brother when it came to bunk selection. That's one less thing to worry about. Just 999,999 things to go..

Karyn and I had the chance last night to kind of talk things over and we look forward to what the future is going to bring. It's going to seem like we're waiting forever to find out the sexes of the babies. We have doctor's appointments set for 07/06 & 07/15. And after that, I believe we'll be going once a month until we start getting closer to the due date. We've been looking at outfits, car seats, names, and everything else that you can imagine. We can't really buy any of those things until we know what we're having. We can go ahead and start stocking up on diapers. That would probably be a great idea.

Since finding out that we're having twins, I'm meeting a lot of parents who have twins and getting some great advice. I was told by one guy that the best advice he was given was, "When one child wakes up in the middle of the night hungry, go ahead and wake the other up." Genius. Then we're not getting up as much (still a lot) and the babies will get on the same schedule. I mentioned to another friend how I've started reading up on some of the additional risks associated with twins. She said, "If you read all that negative stuff that's possible, you will worry the entire time. That's not good for anybody." Once again, genius. Parents are such a great group of people. We feed off each other and make each other better parents. I'm looking forward to joining the "Parents of Twins" society. I think I'll fit in well.

There are also some of my friends who have been less than positive and I appreciate their honesty. One friend said "I would probably just go ahead and jump off a bridge." and another said "I would change my name and get a passport." I don't agree with those sentiments but understand that what we are doing isn't for everyone. There will be a lot of stress (emotional, financial, etc.) involved. I know we can handle it. God has been so good to us and we're blessed with so much. Not material things. That's not what I'm talking about. Love. There's always so much love in our house. In our lives. Our family is strong and God and love is the foundation. I'm so proud of that.

When we said our nightly prayers with the boys last night, we finished with this. "God, please bless mommy, daddy, Isaiah, Jason, baby bear (Isi's bear), and the Smith twins." We laughed a little. That's a mouthful. And it will be a house full. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Double Vision

There were a lot fewer people waiting in the waiting area this time. Wednesday and Thursday are for new OB appointments. They actually take their time with patients and explain things in a little more detail. There was one daddy in the waiting room other than me. He had headphones in his ears and was listening to something that appeared to be absolutely hilarious. His pregnant partner didn't seem amused. I have a feeling he's starting this journey out on the wrong foot.

The receptionist gave my wife a stack of paperwork to fill out while we waited. They called her back just as she was completing the last page. The receptionist told the nurse to wait. I stood up. I sit back down. Karyn said "I'm done." I stood back up. The nurse disappeared. I sit back down. The nurse reappeared. I look like I'm dancing. We went back into that familiar hallway where pee cups are given and husbands are herded. On to the back waiting area while our room is being sterilized. At least I hope that's what is taking place. We ended up in room 3.

We're finally almost to the point where we get an ultrasound! Woot. It's been almost a week since we were last here and we thought we were going to get a glimpse into the womb last time. It's been a long week to say the least. Sleep has been hard to come by at the Smith house and we know it's only going to get worse. Our ultrasound lady's name was Cindy. She had Karyn lay back on the table and we got started. She fumbled around for a moment and asked "Do you guys see what I see?" I did. I instantly said "TWINS???" Karyn looked at me in disbelief. Cindy said "Yep. Twins. There's two of them in there!"

Wow! Talk about a flood of emotions. I laughed a nervous laugh and I saw a few tears trickle down Karyn's face. She was genuinely scared. I leaned over and gave her a kiss and told her everything would be ok. We can do this. Cindy took several pictures and handed them to me. She said that the babies are on top of each other right now and that's normal. She's about 8 weeks pregnant. She checked out everything else that needed checking and told Karyn to get dressed and come outside. We went out and the news had already spread across the office. All the ladies working there were peeking around corners, smiling. They seem to still get pretty excited over twins. TWINS. That's pretty incredible to say that you're expecting twins. The picture shows that they're fraternal twins since they each have their own living quarters. I'm kind of glad they're not going to be identical. With four kids, we're going to be exhausted and probably easily confused.

Of course we shared the news with all of our friends and family as it was happening and both of our phones were blowing up in the doctor's office. The nurse told us we may want to wait a couple days to let it sink in before sharing with everyone. Too late. The support has been incredible and that's so important. We're going to need all we can get.

We both went on to work after the appointment. In hindsight, I should have taken the day off. I couldn't focus on work. Everybody stopped by my desk, emailed, called, etc. I couldn't think about anything other than the twins. I stopped at lunchtime and closed my eyes. I said a prayer for God to give me the guidance I need, the comfort Karyn needs, and for Him to look over the babies as they grow. I called mom's house and told Isaiah. He said "Nuh uh!" My mom said the look on his face was priceless. I can only imagine. I called J's school and told him. He said "Whaaaat?" I think they must have been just as shocked as we were. Still are.

I'm scared, nervous, excited, impatient, restless, and happy. Really happy! What a blessing. We've been blessed with an opportunity to raise twins. That's a pretty rare thing. We're still hoping one of them is a girl but understand it's not up to us. Whatever God decides is best for us. We'll just give all the love we can split up over 4 kids. Have I mentioned how much I love my growing family? I really do. I kept the ultrasound picture at my desk all day and carried it in my shirt pocket when I left my desk. I didn't want to miss the opportunity to share our great news.
We're going to need 2 of everything. Car seats, strollers, Vols outfits. So when you pray for our family, please pray twice. We thank you. We thank you.

Good news and waiting room blues..

We arrived at the dr's office at 8:55 for our 9 o'clock appointment. The room was packed and there were only a couple seats still available. From the look of the waiting area and the number of kids that appeared to be expecting, I've decided that our youth is doomed. There's one young "daddy" with ear rings the size of saucers. There were more tattoos than hormones. Sigh.

We sat across from an adorable little girl dressed in pink. She couldn't have been more than a few months old. It provided us with a little glimpse of what possibly awaits us. We weren't the only ones in the room with nervous looks on our faces. It's seems to be the common thing in an OBGYN waiting room. When they called us back, they asked why we were here today. My wife couldn't find the words so I interjected. "She took a home pregnancy test and passed."

They gave my wife a cup to pee in and told me to have a seat in room 9. I went there to find someone else already in there. Oops. I was told they wouldn't be in there long and they sent us on to a waiting area. They eventually moved us to that room. The nurse said they didn't schedule us for an "OB" appointment. They had us down for a "GYN" appointment. They told us we wouldn't see a doctor today unless we "wanted to". Umm yeah, we wanted to. Seriously, you're playing with people's emotions here. The nurse asked if we wanted to take a pregnancy test to confirm. The answer was yes. She told us it would be the next Wednesday or Thursday before we could get in for a "OB" appointment. I'm happy to report my wife didn't strangle her. She looked like she was going to. I told her it'll be ok and we'll reschedule and come back. We now have an 8:30 appointment for June 23.

We have no further news other than WE'RE PREGNANT! That's good enough for me. For now.

Brothers, lack of sleep, etc..

Since my last post, I've been thinking about what I wanted to get in the next one. I wanted to get my sons' perspective.

When I told Isaiah that mommy was having another baby, he laughed. I asked him if he likes babies. With his patented smile, he said yeah but they pull your hair and scratch your face. He said he loves his cousin Lauryn (she's 1) and lives in MA. I can tell he's excited. He'll be such a good big brother.

When I told Jay, he said "HUH??" And smiled. He said "Do we get bunk beds?" I was thinking (to myself) probably, out of necessity. He immediately said "I hope it's a girl. That seems to be the general consensus. He also is excited. He has this big brother role down.

My wife hasn't felt real good the past couple nights. My mom told her she had night sickness when she carried me. (I probably made her sick a few times growing up too.) She's not sleeping well so I'm not either. She's just restless at this point. It's hard for 2 people to occupy a queen size bed and it gets worse when one of those people are getting fat..err..I mean pregnant.

The 17th is getting closer and the next post will follow after. Hopefully I'll have more info on the little blessing. I'm getting excited! I can still see the worry in my wife's eyes that there's still a possibility we'll be blessed with another boy. I know she would love him just as much. Like I said before, I'll be happy with either. I'm just happy for the opportunity.

Jason

Surprise Anniversary

June 11, 2011

This is the day we celebrate our 6 year anniversary. I woke up around 8 in the morning and my two sons were already up and in the living room. I had them get their shoes on and we went to pick up some bagels and a caramel latte for my wife. Panera has been her favorite for years. When I checked in using foursquare, it told me the last time I had been there was in October 2010. That was for my wife's birthday. So this is a normal ritual.

When we left the bagel shop I thought about stopping by the local grocery store to pick up a card and some flowers but decided to wait so her coffee wouldn't get cold. I told the boys that we would make a secret run later in the day. Little did I know that my world was about to majorly change.

We arrived back at the house and I saw that the bedroom door was open. She had been up. I went into the bedroom and told her we picked up breakfast. As I started back to the kitchen she called my name. I went back to the bedroom and she handed me the pregnancy test wrapped in a sandwich bag. That's supposed to keep the pee off your hands, I suppose. Everything stopped. I held my breath. Not knowing if this was real or a dream. She had a nervous look on her face. She said "It's positive.". I checked for myself. At first, all I noticed was one line facing vertical. I wasn't sure what that meant. She said to look at the indicator. Negative is horizontal. There was only a faint horizontal line. The vertical was fierce. It. Was. Positive.

A million thoughts went through my mind. I almost... (almost) forgot to grab her and hug her. I did and I told her how happy I was. I really was. I was nervous and terrified too. What will we do with a third child? We need a bigger house. Babies are expensive. We're still recovering from when I broke my leg and I need some dental work done. Those bills have to be paid. How can we do this?? I know God will provide and he won't bring you to a situation without a way to bring you through it. I posted a picture of the positive test on facebook and twitter to tell the world what we hadn't confirmed with a medical doctor. WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!!!

I called my mom over and over until she answered her phone. I called my dad. I texted friends. I called my sister. I can't explain the excitement a daddy feels when he hears that his wife is bringing another child into this world. There's no words that would ever do it justice. The boys and I did end up making that flower and card run. Once I wrapped my head around the situation and recovered from the initial shock.

I laid awake way past midnight with all of these thoughts running through my head. One thing kept coming to me. "In the end, you're not going to remember the nights you got plenty of sleep." We can do this. Yes, we can do this and I can't wait.

We made a doctor's appointment for the following Friday. The 17th. Can we REALLY wait that long to know what we think we already know? When will she be due? When will I get to hold my daughter... or son... Since we have two boys, there's a part of us that's hoping to add a little girl to our family. After all, four boys in the house may be enough to finally drive my wife insane. Either way though, we pray for a healthy baby. We're excited about what the future will bring. No matter how many obstacles we face, we'll face them together. Man, I love my (growing) family.

Jason

(Note: I am going to blog throughout the pregnancy from my perspective. I would like to put a book together for the baby but that's getting way ahead of myself. We'll see..)