Friday, January 13, 2012

My Princesses

We arrived at Fort Sanders Regional Medical Center at 8:00 p.m. on January 5th, 2012. I stopped in front of the ER and helped my Karyn out the van. I parked and went in to meet her. She wouldn't let me get her a wheelchair. She's way too tough for that. We got her checked in and they put her in a wheelchair. Haha. We were taken up to labor and delivery. They took her in one room and I was told to go to the family waiting area and someone would come and get me in about 15 minutes. I'm sitting in here now and it feels like I've been in here for 3 days. I was chatting with the mother of a girl who was checked in at the same time. There was a family behind me laughing and joking about complications with birth so I got up and went into the hallway to wait. My heart is beating out of my chest. We don't know what the night will bring but we prepared. We held hands and prayed together on the way to the hospital. We put the evening in God's hands.

The lady I was chatting with pushed the nurse button and was let back into triage. I followed her in and asked a nurse where Karyn was. Triage room 2. I went in. They had the monitors hooked up to her belly, measuring heartbeats and contractions. They never came and got me and it's a stupid policy to not let me go back with her to begin with. I will always find a way to be there for her. The monitors were sliding off of the big ol round baby holder (belly). I called the nurse and told them. Then we waited for them to come. And waited. They weren't really in any kind of hurry. Maybe I'm just excited. I am VERY excited. The nurse came in and adjusted the monitors. She said they could see at the nurse's station that it had moved and would've came and and fixed them "eventually". Not kidding. Karyn decided she wanted the TV on in the room if she was going to be in here a while. I gave her the remote. We're sitting here listening to our princesses heartbeats and watching contractions. Waiting for the doctor to come in and examine her.

The doctor came in with a nurse and checked Karyn's cervix. It was a painful exam. They all have been lately. She said that Karyn is still dilated 2cm and 50% effaced. About the same as on Tuesday. However, since the girls are breech, they told us that she may not dilate at all. When the twins are ready to come, they will come. The doctor said they will continue to monitor and she will check back in a little bit. We're looking at the flow of paper coming out of the machines and hitting the floor. We want to see the contractions and monitor the strength ourselves. The nurse came in and I asked what was what. She showed us which ones were the contractions. It spikes a lot when she has a hard one but is it dilating her cervix? Would it since the twins are breech? We asked and they gave a vague answer. If a foot is down there, no. If a butt is, maybe. Still, not doing it like a head would. We're waiting to see. Karyn is uncomfortable but I got her an extra pillow for her legs and a extra blanket. It's about 12 degrees in this room.

We talked to the nurse a few times and was told the doctor would be back in a bit. The doctor came back in for another exam a little later and Karyn was dilated to 3 cm. They decided that tonight would be the night. We filled out some paperwork and K was admitted. I sent a text to Nana (my mom) and Karyn sent one to Grammy (her mom) saying it's time. We were taken up to the 6th floor. Labor and Delivery. The nurse asked Karyn a million questions and gave me scrubs. A shirt, pants, shoe covers, hair cover, and a face mask. I put it all on and stood there looking like a brain surgeon and feeling like my heart was going to pound out of my chest. The nurses really seemed to work well together and everything was going so fast and smooth. They prepared K for delivery and took her to the operating room. I had to stay behind for about 20 minutes while they got her all setup. That felt like an eternity. I was alone, waiting. Knowing my wife was about to bring my little girls into the world. I prayed.

The nurse finally came and got me and took me back to where my bride was waiting. She had already been given numbing medicine and couldn't feel anything from the chest down. She was alert and I sat down beside her head and kissed her. Told her how wonderful she was doing and how proud I am of her. I really am. She had a tight grip on my hand. Her knuckles were white. A nurse had to put an armband on her. She said she probably needed to get some circulation back in her hand. As did I. The anesthesiologist told me I could watch if I wanted. Audrey was about to come. I looked over the curtain and saw the 1st of my little girls born. Words can't describe the feeling. My heart filled with joy. She looked blue at first but started getting color almost instantly and when they stuck that suction thing in her mouth, she sprang to life. She was crying and was absolutely beautiful. I was crying as well but not as beautiful. It was Bailey's turn. Their mommy had a nice grip on my hand and the nurse told her again that she should let up a little to allow blood back into her hand. She didn't. Bailey was a little tougher coming out. It took several pulls but when she came, she was even more beautiful than I could have ever dreamed. They suctioned her to get all the fluid out and my girls were crying in unison. They brought Audrey to me while they got Bailey cleaned up. I tried my best to get her down next to Karyn so she could see and kiss her. I was crying my eyes out from the abundance of beauty. They brought Bailey over and put her in my free arm. I had to let go of Karyn's hand and she wouldn't let go at first. That would have been a great time to have 3 hands. I eased Bailey down to mommy while holding on to my newborns for dear life. How could I be so blessed? What a special moment in our lives. One I'll never forget. The day my princesses arrived.

I had a twin in each arm for 45 minutes to an hour. They had to finish up with Karyn and got us back to our room. Karyn was still weak and woozy from the delivery. She wasn't able to hold them on her own at first and I wasn't about to leave their side. I sat the babies on her and she gave them each some kisses. It was such a beautiful sight. The moment they were born, I knew I would die before letting anything happen to them. I thought I may have to be hospitalized after the way my arms felt from holding both of these beauties for so long. It was absolutely worth it. We let Grammy and Nana know that the twins had arrived. My mom (Nana) and my brother (Uncle Brian) were waiting in the lobby to get in to see us and help with the girls. There was some kind of emergency with another woman and all of the nurses went running. There was nobody around to let them in. I couldn't leave the room and Karyn wasn't yet ready to be on her own anyway. She looked so beautiful (and relieved) sitting there on that bed, resting. When I did finally see a nurse, I asked her to let our family in. A few minutes later, here they came. I handed Audrey to Mom and Bailey to Brian. I was finally able to rest my arms and take some pictures. I let the world know that the twins had arrived! The babies were surrounded with love. Uncle Brian took lots of pictures on his ipad and emailed them to me. That helped a lot because I was still very emotional and bit out of it. A little while later, Brian and Mom left so we could bond with our angels. We stayed in the recovery room for about another hour after they left.

They finally got Karyn and babies to a real room. We kept them with us until the nurse came to give them their baths and get them under a warmer. A nurse checked K and got her settled in. She was sleeping comfortably and deserved it. What an amazing job she did! I walked down to the nursery where my angels were. I stared at them for the longest time and cried my eyes out. I prayed. I thanked God that Karyn and the babies made it through perfectly and everyone was healthy. I asked God to give me the strength and guidance that I'll need to be the daddy and husband I'll need to be. I kept thinking about how I'm blessed way beyond what I deserve. If that's not the perfect example of grace, I don't know what is. There's nothing I could ever do that would be worthy of something this special. I thank God for the opportunity and challenges this next chapter of our lives will bring. I look forward to watching my princesses grow up. I hope they will always know how much they mean to me. How much our (not so) little family means to me. Karyn, Jason, Jay, Isaiah, and welcome, my princesses, Audrey Lynn (5 lbs 12.7 oz 19 1/4 in born at 12:22 a.m.) and Bailey Kaye (5 lbs 5.5 oz 18 3/4 in born at 12:24 a.m.)! Daddy loves you.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012


I've written no less than 3 half blog posts since the last one I posted. Every time I try to write one, something happens and I don't get to finish it. I think I may put the partial ones together for the babies book to show what a crazy time this has been. We are close to our new additions being here and it seems like I have less and less time for everything. I've still managed to get Jay to his Boy Scout meetings (2 days in a row) while timing contractions with Mommy via text. The church they meet at is only about a mile away so I'm still close by if needed. The meetings go from 6:30-8:00. They're important to him and we're trying to keep life as normal as possible for the boys. Right after work has been tough but we manage.

Happy New Year! 2012 has already started with a bang. Karyn is 2 days shy of 36 weeks, which has been our goal since we found out we were having twins. Remember when the doctor said "34 weeks is a big win and 36 weeks is a huge win."? Huge describes it perfectly. Mommy is huge. Bless her heart. The past week has been the most painful, by far. All of Karyn's pregnant weight is in her belly. If you look at her from behind, she doesn't even show. We think that has a lot to do with the pain. She's absolutely beautiful. I've been trying to take lots of pictures of her belly but she only allows it sometimes. I try to be sensitive to her wants and needs. After all, she IS carrying my princesses. I think... no... I know that I picked the perfect queen. I'm all about protecting her and my family and keeping my eyes on the prizes. This year is going to be a special (and challenging) one for the Smiths. I look forward to it. I thank God for the blessings and struggles of 2011 but I'm ready to turn the page.

We had been looking forward to today for a couple weeks. We knew this was a milestone and we would get another chance to see our angels via ultrasound. We knew that if we could get this far, our babies would both have a better chance of being healthy. It was an exciting day, to say the least, but lets go back a couple days first. Friday, December 30 was when my bride first started feeling these really hard contractions. Where she would lean back, with her hand on her belly, and cry out. We both knew she was getting closer. Every night this past weekend was pretty much sleepless. She had to pee more often. About every hour, on the hour. When she wasn't peeing, she was switching positions. Each time she moved, I woke up and asked if she was OK and if it was "Go Time". I think she got tired of it. She would sigh and say "I'm fine" or "I'm just uncomfortable". The morning would come and we both looked like we had been rode hard and put up wet (that's not a dirty reference, just southern). We were haggard looking (if that better "shakes your bacon"). We still had to go about the business of being parents to Isaiah and Jay. New Years Eve, we managed to watch a movie, kiss at midnight, then off to bed we went. No sleep though. More pain. More cramps. More unhappy Mommy. I hope my beautiful little girls read this one day and hug Karyn. She has been a trooper. We took down the Christmas tree and cleaned a little. Karyn did most of it. She is nesting and as long as there's no painting or furniture moving, go for it.

We both had Monday the 2nd off and K tried to take it easy but the contractions were getting stronger and more frequent. As the evening went on, we started counting contractions. Which, I must say, I'm a pro at now. Mommy moans, I time it. 5-7 minutes apart and lasting between 45 seconds to a minute and 20 seconds. Oh my, they look painful. Someone told me that " They're worse than they look!" and I believe it. I felt, and still feel, so bad for her. She called the doctor on call to ask about the painful contractions, the shooting pains "down there", and a couple other things. The doctor told her that she thought she should come to the ER to be checked out but Karyn decided that she wanted to wait and see her doctor today. Last night (Monday) was the worst so far. We counted contractions until 12:30 and then she tried to lay down. I followed her to bed about 1:00. No sleep. Audrey flipped into a weird position, with my hand on Karyn's belly, and has been there since. She's lower and her knees (we found out via ultrasound) are sticking out her side and pressing hard. When we did doze off, it was just for minutes at a time. Our heater started blowing cold air and so I googled it and we got it to work for a little while then the cold air came back. This went on all night with the contractions. At several points, I thought about making a trip to the store for electric heaters but it never got cold enough for that. Thank God. I really didn't want to leave her side. In case. We're having the system looked at soon. Supposed to be today but never got anyone to answer their phones. My mom gave us a couple electric ones to use tonight until we get someone out here. Her van needs new spark plugs too but that will have to wait as well.

Karyn woke up at 8:00 on the nose this morning and, out of instinct, panicked. She said "Jason!" Scared the living crap out of me. I said "What???" She said " It's 8!" and for a second she tried to jump out of bed. Hahaha. It didn't work. Only a grunt then back to the pillow. That's what time I was supposed to be at work. We had decided to call the doctor's office first thing to see about an earlier appointment and they don't turn their phones on until 8:30. We were scheduled for an ultrasound at 3:00. We got it bumped up to 10:30. We managed to get up, get showered and dressed, and the boys ready. We took them to mom's since school was out one more day for the Christmas break. We made it right on time and I dropped her off at the front door to go sign in and I parked the van in a handicapped spot. I walked in with a limp so people wouldn't think I was just some lazy bum beating the system. I found her in the waiting room and joined her. I didn't even write during the visit. Too tired and excited to gather a reasonable thought. They called her name and we went back. Took a pee sample (she had plenty, I waited outside the door for her), and to the ultrasound room we went. This was another "not so favorite" ultrasound tech. Karyn was VERY sensitive on her left side and the lady kept pressing. Karyn had tears in her eyes and told the lady to stop pushing so hard. It was too painful. I told the lady that Karyn never complains unless she means it so it's REALLY hurting her. We flipped her to the left and we flipped her to the right. You couldn't see much. At this point, the girls are so bunched up, it's hard to tell who's who. We saw good little heartbeats. 122 & 136. We saw the girls practicing breathing. A... wait for it... mazing! They're getting ready! We got K cleaned up from the belly goo and were sent back to the waiting room. We were called back and the nurse came in. Karyn's blood pressure was a little high but the nurse said not to worry. The doctor came in and we explained what had been going on and he examined her. She's dilated to 2 cm and 50% effaced. The doctor wants the babies to stay in as long as possible but said when she's at 3 cm, the babies are coming out. We're to watch for stronger contractions or more frequent ones. He set an appointment for Friday the 13th for a c-section but said she is only 4-5 days away at most. Basically, next time we go in, the babies will come. Every doctor is different and there's a good chance that the babies would be here if we had went to the ER at the peak of the pains. We want to have a good balance of mommy's comfort and babies health. We want her to go as long as possible for the babies' sake but she's ready. When we were ready to check out, she was still in pain from the exam and I held her in my arms and let her cry. I asked if she wanted to sit down and let me take care of this part. Of course she said no. We came back home and got her settled in. Resting. Waiting. I went into work for a little while. Trying to get as many hours in as possible before my princesses are here. We're counting contractions again tonight and our blessings. We held hands on the way home from the doctor and prayed. For her and the babies safety, her comfort, and our sanity. I went into preacher mode and started talking about praying and faith until she said "Shut up. I'm calling my mom." That's my baby. We'll keep you posted in these final days or hours before delivery. Please keep those prayers going up. We need them now more than ever. I cried reading the last paragraph to Karyn. I told her it was funny. She said "That's not funny." Shrug. Love her.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Coming soon, we think...

Hey girls,

Daddy just felt like writing you. It's after midnight now on December 30th night. It's now officially New Years Eve and It won't be long until you're here. Tonight was fun. I took some video of you guys moving around inside of Mommy. Audrey, girl you are bouncing! Slow your roll. Haha. Bailey, it's so cool to see your tiny little head and arm roll around. This is such a special moment in our lives. Mommy is about as pregnant as she's going to get. She's beautiful. I'm honored to be her husband. I pray you girls are sweet, lovely ladies like her. She is an amazing woman and you better appreciate her. If you take nothing else from all that I've written, love your mother and be thankful.

Mommy has contractions all throughout the day at this point in the pregnancy. Some really hurt. Others aren't as bad. That's per Mommy. You guys kind of push out in opposite directions. It can be tough determining what's a contraction and what's just you guys being rowdy. We're so anxious to have you here. It's not like we're going to lose anymore sleep than we already do. Mommy isn't sleeping. She can't really lay on her sides, or her back, or her stomach. She has seriously slept halfway sitting up. Whatever works. I'm in "ready" mode. I hear a bump in the night and I think it's go time. I hear grunts. I wake up. I lie awake and think about you and Mommy. Like I am doing right now. Mommy is trying to sleep and I'm too excited to go to sleep because you are coming soon (and college football is on).

I pray for you guys and Mommy. I love our family. We may not have all of the finest things and our house is going to be snug for a while but there's NOTHING we can't do. With God and hard work. We will go through every moment of it together. I'm sure Mommy will show you how to be a lady. Daddy will show you how to be a corny goofball (I'm good at that). You will never not feel loved. You and your brothers are everything to me and Mommy. I better lay down now. What if tonight's the night? I have to be of as clear of mind and focused as ever to make sure everything goes as smooth as possible. When it's the time... Know this, when I put down this tablet, I'm kissing the loves of my life through the love of my life's skin. I'll say your prayers with you. I hope you rest for Mommy. I'll be right there beside you. Goodnight my angels.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

35 Weeks

We arrived for our 2:00 appointment at 1:45. KARYN WAS EARLY!!! If you know her, you know that never happens. She left work earlier than she usually does because it's cold and rainy out. She was allowing extra time to be extra safe. HUGE shout out to her for this. So so so very proud of her.

We just thought to ask if her doctor's office validates parking. They don't. I joked with the receptionist that I was surprised we're not being double charged for parking since she's carrying twins. The lady joked back that I probably shouldn't give them that idea. We're sitting in this, all too familiar, waiting room with 8 pregnant women and 2 dads (including myself). With today's check in, I became Mayor of Ft. Sanders Hospital on Foursquare. About time. I plan on holding that title for a while. With us now on weekly visits and getting close to time for delivery, I will be here often. There's a lot of grunting from the pregnant women in here. It's not just my wife. I can hear 1 lady telling another that she's pregnant with her 1st and she's so uncomfortable. My wife is carrying twice the babies and a thyroid tumor. My wife is tougher than any woman I know. She's my hero. So proud of her. We're waiting on the nurse to call her name and they better hurry. She's holding in a full bladder, waiting to give a sample. I have a feeling it's going to look like her water broke in the waiting room soon. I went to the receptionist and they went ahead and gave her a cup and off she goes! I'm alone in the waiting room now hearing words like cervix and uterus from the women around me. It doesn't even bother me anymore. I'm a pro at this by now. I've heard it all.

We get called back and they weigh her and took her blood pressure. All good. They're doing a swab today to see if she needs antibiotics at birth. We've never seen this nurse before and she's not real nice. I guess they can't all be gumdrops. From where I'm sitting, I can see something that looks like a pipe cleaner, on the floor, hanging half way out from under the table my wife is sitting on. I will find out what that is because it's gross if it's used. Even if it's not, eww. Thought about testing my blood pressure while we wait. I didn't. You wouldn't believe some of the things I do in these rooms while waiting on the doctors. I don't do anything that doesn't make Karyn laugh hysterically. K is getting restless wanting the doctor to hurry up. If she asks me to push the nurse button on the wall one more time, I'm going to do it. She's getting uncomfortable sitting on the table. She's never comfortable anywhere, anytime, in any position, anymore. As you can imagine, it's painful. She is ready for the baby girls to get here. So am I. Not just for selfish reasons, either. I hate seeing my wife suffer. That part sucks but it's for a great reason. A great blessing.

The doctor came in. It's not Karyn's regular doctor. An older lady who we find out has twin 23 year olds. I feel like we're in good hands. She asked the normal questions, "How do you feel?"Karyn laughs. "Notice anything different? Are you sleeping?" Karyn laughs. I love this about my wife. She's very lighthearted. She could have rattled off a list like the lady in the waiting room. She didn't. I have to tell the doctor all of what ailes my wife. Like she has 1 swollen ankle. Normal. Babies could be just leaning to one side. Elevate and drink plenty of water. I won't go into all of our questions. Some were answered. Some weren't. Some are just wait and see. The first question the nurse asked Karyn was the most difficult to answer. "Are you ready?" .......... Are we? Probably not because nobody ever is. We're as ready as we're going to be. We've been preparing mentally while K's body prepares physically for weeks. The doc checked my wife's cervix. Still closed but said with both little ladies breached (head up high, feet down low), that would be likely. We're not really waiting on her water to break. It could happen but when her body says "labor time", it's time. They won't stop labor after 36 weeks. It's the doctor on call's call between now and next Wednesday, if it starts. We, of course, have mixed feelings. Want them to stay in there and grow as much as possible but not break Mommy in half. There's a lot of baby in there already.

We go back next Tuesday for the 36 week visit. AND ULTRASOUND! Will be cool to know how much Daddy's princesses weigh. If they stay in there that long. Karyn's holding up pretty well considering. She's tired a lot, as expected. She's not sleeping much at night. I never know where I'll find her crashed out. Couch or bed. The doctor today told her to try and sleep in the recliner. If that works, you know what that means... I get the bed to myself. I will spread my wings and sleep like I've dreamed about for weeks. Kidding (kind of). I will miss my little angels kicking ME through Mommy and of course, Mommy's snoring. We celebrated our new babies first Christmas and now we look forward to a new year... as proud parents of twin girls. We love you Audrey and Bailey and we'll see you soon! Praying often for our growing family. Thankful.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

I Hope

I hope you travel. I hope you always keep your roots. I hope you feel blessed in your circumstance. I hope you find your truth. I hope I guide you right. I hope I never fail you. I hope you'll understand and forgive me when I do. I cherish every moment. I hope you know I love you. I hope you read this often. I hope you know it's true.


Tuesday, December 20, 2011

34 weeks

We originally had an 11:30 appointment so I took a 1/2 day off. Karyn's coworker had made plans a month in advance to not be in the office but K forgot with so much going on. We changed our appointment to 3:30 so I had some time to waste around downtown Knoxville. I went to a little store called Mast. It's one of my favorites. I had a gift card so I took the time to finish up some Christmas shopping. Once I escaped the store (I say escaped because it is less than a week until Christmas and people are crazy), I decided to grab some lunch. So here I am. Eating sushi and writing this blog post.

This appointment is just a checkup and we most likely won't get an ultrasound. We do have a lot of questions. Karyn has been having a lot of painful contractions and so we want a professional opinion. She is as tough as nails so it's hard to gauge what's Braxton Hicks and what's really real. I truly believe the babies will be on their way out and she'll think it's gas. She still hasn't been sleeping much. Audrey and Bailey are trying to push their way out. I took a video of her stomach a couple nights ago and you can see the girls rolling around inside of her. It's an amazing sight. I don't see how anyone could see such a sight and deny the existence of God. It's such a miracle and I'm thankful to be a part of it.

I arrived in the parking garage at the hospital about 2:45. Still 45 minutes until our scheduled appointment. Karyn won't be here for a while. I usually just hang out until she gets here but since I've been fighting off a cold/flu, I will take this opportunity to catch a little nap.

The nap didn't happen but oh well. Here we are. In the doctor's waiting room. Waiting for my lovely wife's name to be called. With as much money as we're paying this place, they should at least offer wifi. I like to stay connected. It's 3:35 right now. There's a few other women in here. One expecting mother is rocking a shirt that says "Tis the season to be pregnant.". It would appear to be the case. I notice every pregnant woman right now. Mostly because I fear them. I don't care how insensitive it sounds, hormonal women are nuts. There's only one other confused looking dad so we're greatly outnumbered. Dr. Phil is on the TV again. It makes me glad I usually work at this time of day. His voice reminds me of a penguin in pain. Speaking of penguins... time to waddle on back. I'm hoping they want a sample from me because I have to pee.

They didn't want that sample. Of course. They were kind enough to let me use the restroom so we're both good to go now. They weighed my bride, took her pee sample, and sent us on to exam room 5. They checked Karyn's blood pressure. Looked good. We discussed contractions with our nurse. We struggle with what's a contraction and what's not. I asked if we could take one of the little machines home that monitor contractions. They said no. Probably best since they would charge us twice for it. Yes, I did say that to them. The nurse left and now we're waiting on the doctor. We're seeing a different doctor today. Karyn's regular doctor is on vacation. Better now than for the delivery. There's a good chance Karyn's doctor won't deliver the twins. It'll be whomever is on call when she goes. Karyn hasn't come to terms with this yet but she will. When it happens. She said she's going to have the babies on Friday, January 6. She says her doctor will be available then. No idea how she knows this but I believe her.

The doctor came in. A lady we've never seen before. She saw that we mentioned contractions so she wanted to do a test that will tell us if she's likely to go into labor within the next 2 weeks. It'll be a couple hours for the results and we're not waiting here for them. They will call us after hours. I should be able to include the results before posting this blog. The doctor said Karyn's cervix is still closed so that's good news. She said the pains could be just the active twins instead of contractions and the main thing to look for is water breakage or spotting. We'll be on the lookout. That can be tough, Karyn said, because of middle of the night potty breaks. There are a lot of those done in the dark. What part of this whole process isn't a challenge? A wonderful, exciting, breath-taking challenge. We love it. Through ups and downs, we wouldn't trade a second of it.

We will now be making weekly doctor visits since we're getting closer. Next Tuesday is our next. Everything is going great. Keep those prayers coming. I will keep taking care of Mommy (when she's not trying to take care of one of us) while my babies grow stronger. Every day is a blessing. We're so thankful.

((Update: the nurse called with the results of the test to see if she's within 2 weeks of going into labor. She said negative. BUT with twins, it can change at anytime. We'll be on the lookout for her wetting herself (or other signs). That moment when we know. We'll keep you posted.))

Tuesday, December 13, 2011


We're getting close. We can feel it. Well, Karyn feels it and I sense that she feels it. It won't be long now until we have 2 new additions to our family. Recently, the twins have changed positions in Mommy's belly. They are a little lower than they have been. She's constantly getting kicked down low. Several times a day, I can hear her cry out from the pressure and the kicks. I feel helpless. As a man, I want to be a problem solver and right now, there's not much I can do. I can just try to make her as comfortable as possible. I try to. I'm happy to take on more responsibility so that she can relax more. I was massaging her legs when they cramped but I read that you're not supposed to do that. Something about possible blood clots, so I stopped. I was dreaming about massaging her legs and would wake up in the middle of the night and find myself doing it in my sleep. She said she didn't notice but I thought that was pretty funny.

Karyn isn't sleeping hardly at all. She's uncomfortable all the time but especially at night. When she does get comfortable, she's up all night peeing. She's hoping that Audrey and Bailey hurry up and come. I am as well but we also want them to be good and healthy when they get here. You hear a lot of stories about twins coming early and having to spend extra time in the hospital. We don't want that if we can avoid it. The faster we get them in their pretty nursery after they're born, the better. I asked the doctor if I could cut the umbilical cords but since it's a c-section that she will have, he said no. There's an issue with everything being sterile and they can't risk any unnecessary germs. I'm a pretty clean individual but I guess that doesn't matter. I understand.

My friends at work recently threw us a baby shower. It was awesome. I can't even describe how appreciative we are. My work family is a true blessing. Karyn was able to come over to my work so it wasn't just me, a man, sitting there clueless. Everybody talked about how beautiful Karyn is and how great she looks to be carrying 2 babies. She looks better than most women who are only carrying 1. I am biased but she is the most beautiful woman in the world and I'm proud to call her my wife. One of my best friends in the world, Nikki Kim, helped plan the shower and I can't thank her enough. It was a good mix of pink and my favorite color, orange. Nikki's mom actually took some of Nikki's stuff to make these cool lollipops from orange baby washcloths. They were so cool. There were plenty of cookies, candy, and a beautiful cake with 2 little plastic babies on top. The dolls were on top of little blankets with "A" and "B" on them. I'll probably include some of the cards and well wishes in this book I'm putting together for my girls. Again, thank you to those who participated. We love you guys.

I took the boys to the Maryville Christmas parade over the weekend. We had a blast and the boys got tons of candy that was thrown from floats. We're doing what we can to get in the Christmas spirit. We put up our family Christmas tree and even added a little ornament for Audrey and Bailey. We played Christmas music and sipped egg nog. This has to be the strangest Christmas season I've ever experienced. I don't mean that in a bad way. It's absolutely wonderful. Just different and strange. We're doing most of our Christmas shopping online so we don't have to have Karyn out moving around more than what's necessary. In a way, our situation feels like Christmas. As a child lays awake Christmas eve waiting on Santa to arrive. We too lay awake. We're waiting on our tiny little gifts from God. They will be here before we know it. I only wish someone could tell us how many "sleeps" until we get our gifts.

We go back to the baby doctor on December 20. The 34 week checkup. The one the doctor called a "win". We won't get another ultrasound until 36 weeks (if she makes it that long). We hope she carries them as long as she can, comfortably. It won't be long until I have my babies in my arms. I'm so excited! I know Karyn, Jay, and Isaiah are too. Our family is really about to grow. No news on Karyn's thyroid. There won't be until after the twins are here. Please keep our family in your prayers. We thank you.