Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Light at the end of the tunnel

I wrote a blog post while on the airplane to Oklahoma. I didn't post it. I was upset at Karyn's doctor. I felt like she wasn't getting the care she deserves. The specialist that she's seeing for her thyroid tumor is on vacation and we're anxiously awaiting news. Any news. Something that will tell us where we stand. When she needs to have surgery. I blasted the doctor pretty good. It helped me to get what I was feeling off of my chest. It was hateful though, so I didn't post it. Karyn got a call on Monday from her OBGYN. He had received the results from the specialist office. He wants us to wait until after the babies are here for surgery. The tumor is "active" but slowing progressing. I still lean toward a second opinion but I know Karyn trusts this doctor and so do I. He's not going to take any chances. The specialist will continue to monitor things during the pregnancy and she'll have surgery after the twins are here. Keep praying for her. Pray for her doctors too. They have a big responsibility and they are only human. I sometimes get a big head and think we're the only couple on the planet expecting. We have to do things in God's time. I trust Him to protect her and the twins.

I just got back from a work trip to Oklahoma. It's a trip where we visit customers that are several months past due on their mortgages. We visit when we have no other contact with them. It can be a little scary at times but the overtime is good. With twins on the way, any extra money coming in is a good thing. We were chased by dogs, ignored by some customers, and cussed by others. It wasn't too bad though. I've been on worse trips. I missed Karyn and the boys a lot. I could tell they were as excited to see me as I was them. I love to travel but coming home always feels great. I don't think I'll be going on anymore work trips this year. Karyn is getting pretty far along now and I want to be here to help. Football season is here too so my Saturdays are taken. Don't judge me unless you've been to Neyland in the Fall. There's nothing, anywhere, like it.

Karyn's car was totaled out by the insurance company from the hail storms we had in April. It's a blessing and a curse. We're happy to have that piece of poop paid off but finding another vehicle is tough. I think we're going with a mini-van. Neither Karyn or myself are excited about a mini-van but it's needed for a family of 6. We're trying to find a reliable one at a reasonable price. It seems that most in our price range have higher mileage than we would like. Once again, we shall pray. I've mentioned a station wagon to Karyn but get the "stare of death". I don't think I could talk her into it if there was one available that baby-sat while you grocery shopped. It's a no go. A short bus would use too much gas. Mini-van it is. The search is on. We may have to rent a car for her until we find one. They're calling us to schedule a pickup of her car.

We're a little more than one week away from knowing the sex of the twins. I can't wait. We're both very excited. Karyn is now 18 weeks. It seems like forever since we found out we're expecting. This will be our next big mile marker on the road to delivery. Karyn is doing a great job of keeping her sanity. I can't (and won't) even explain everything we've been through in just the past month. It's been a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. Our emotions have traveled a bumpy path. We'll continue to be a rock for each other and lean on God. We pray. When I feel anxious or overwhelmed, I get quiet. I've had several people check on me since I haven't been my outgoing self. I'm ok. It just feels like I'm in a haze sometimes and just coasting through. My brain shuts down and I run off of instinct. Work has been a nightmare lately. They keep adding stuff to my duties and while I appreciate that they trust me to take on more, I can only do so much. I don't want to get burned out. I love my job. I just have to balance everything. Easier said than done, I suppose.

Thank you to everyone for your continued prayers. I know there's light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like we're the ones in the birth canal. Hoping someone will pull us out and smack our bottoms soon. Ok, maybe we could skip the spanking. I think life has given us enough of those for now.

*Note* I've posted 8 times a month, every month, since starting this blog. August will only have 7. It's a good reminder that sometimes what you DON'T say is just as important. The missing blog post means something too.

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